It took
Years of narcissistic abuse
Relentless
Demands of perfection
Compulsory heterosexuality
Catholic education
Save the world expectations
Graduation into recession
Know what you want now
No room for doubt
No time for life experience
What makes you special, unique
The best!!!
When you’re dead, you can finally rest
(If you’ve earned it)
Spending my 20s
Crying and screaming in the car
And not knowing why, when
I’m supposed to be happy, fulfilled and
Grateful all the time
It took
An abusive relationship
Relentless
To-do lists for self-improvement
Blossoming brain lesions
Literally turning against myself on a
Cellular level
It took
One election
A worldwide pandemic
Years of isolation
A school shooting
Algorithms breeding division
Media monetized by despair
Relentless
It took
One
more
election .
And
It took me a lifetime
To understand that
Working hard is
Not
A virtue.
***
I’ve been holding my breath
My entire life
The tiniest step away from demise
Living in constant terror
That making the smallest noise will
Unleash the beast
Of ultimate destruction
And it will be my fault.
That it will be the mere fact of my existence
One small inhale
That will end the world
And that the beast is not responsible
But my need to breathe
Working hard
is not a virtue.
By: Allison Gems
Allison Gems 