If I’m thinking something mean about somebody else
It’s a sign
I need to be nicer to myself.
By: Allison Gems
Category: sad/mad
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A lifetime of goodbyes
I said goodbye to you today
I still don’t know who I am to you —
An extension of yourself
A stranger,
a threat
An idea of a person
Someone who owes you something,
by virtue of existence?A failure,
a disappointment?Maybe you don’t think of me
Maybe I served my function in your life
Did I outlive my usefulness?
Was I a good placeholder —
did I fulfill the role and your expectations?
Did you think about me?
Can you cope?
Who are you?I said goodbye to you today,
but
you’ve been saying goodbye to me
for a long time.By: Allison Gems
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Some people are haunted houses
Some people are haunted houses
Ghosts hiding behind cerebral folds
Ready to jump out when you least expect themSome people are possessed by the past
By things done to them
By people long gone
By phantoms of could have beensSome people are haunted by dark energy
By feelings they don’t understand
By hostile voices and evil thoughts
By shifting shadows of despairSome people are trapped in a mental landscape of quicksand and land mines
Step
by
(tentative)
step.?
??
.
!!!!!!!!!!Maybe recovery is the slowest exorcism…
Clear out the cobwebs
Let in the light
Slowly, steadily removing the buildup
To see
through the windows of the soul
Clearly,for the first time.
By: Allison Gems
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Loneliness (she/her)
Loneliness sits with me on rainy days
In a chair by the window
Eyes like mist, clothed in gray
She blows on tea like a meditationSteadfast like winter
Form growing thinner
Sometimes she’s wisdom
Sometimes she’s fogLoneliness visits me at midnights
When I feel the deep purple ache
The orange bitternessA hush falls over the room
And like a dark blue cloud
She settles next to me
On the other side of the bed
An enigmatic presence
Quiet and knowingWhen I feel alone
Loneliness is thereSaying, notice me
Peaceful solitude
awaits.By: Allison Gems
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Working hard is not a virtue
It took
Years of narcissistic abuse
Relentless
Demands of perfection
Compulsory heterosexuality
Catholic education
Save the world expectations
Graduation into recession
Know what you want now
No room for doubt
No time for life experience
What makes you special, unique
The best!!!
When you’re dead, you can finally rest
(If you’ve earned it)Spending my 20s
Crying and screaming in the car
And not knowing why, when
I’m supposed to be happy, fulfilled and
Grateful all the timeIt took
An abusive relationship
Relentless
To-do lists for self-improvement
Blossoming brain lesions
Literally turning against myself on a
Cellular levelIt took
One election
A worldwide pandemic
Years of isolation
A school shooting
Algorithms breeding division
Media monetized by despair
RelentlessIt took
One
moreelection .
And
It took me a lifetime
To understand thatWorking hard is
Not
A virtue.***
I’ve been holding my breath
My entire life
The tiniest step away from demise
Living in constant terror
That making the smallest noise will
Unleash the beast
Of ultimate destruction
And it will be my fault.That it will be the mere fact of my existence
One small inhale
That will end the world
And that the beast is not responsible
But my need to breatheWorking hard
is not a virtue.By: Allison Gems
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Maybe it’s not my fault (intergenerational healing)
I’m sorry they made you that way,
and
I’m sorry
you chose to stay that way.
By: Allison Gems
Allison Gems 